At ScienceOnline 2012, Brian Malow also known as @sciencecomedian performed a short routine during the Saturday lunch. He complained that several jokes floating around the web were not attributed to him so I thought I would share a few I remembered complete with attribution. His sense of humor appealed to me as I was raised in a home rife with puns. Yes, my family can carry on an entire conversation dedicated to a single theme, no music necessary.
Fans of the television show “The Big Bang Theory” are likely to understand this reference: Schrödinger’s cat walked into a bar…or did it?
For chemistry buffs: Helium drifted into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases in this bar.” Helium doesn’t react.
If you enjoy reading about the Large Hadron Collider and the search for a certain particle: A Higgs Boson entered a church. The priest said “We don’t allow your kind in here.” The Higgs Boson replied “Without me, you have no mass.”
Microbiologists may appreciate this one: An infectious disease enters a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve your kind. You’re Staph.”
More wordplay with particles: A neutron enters a bar. The bartender says “For you, no charge.”
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Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed my jokes – with attribution no less! :)
I’m compelled to point out that the last one – the neutron joke – is not mine. That’s an old classic that I’m sure everyone has heard.
And the microbiology one is, Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve bacteria in this bar.” The bacteria say, “But we work here – we’re Staph!” :)
Here’s a video clip with a few more:
Thanks for the corrections and the video link. I realized I should take notes to remember the jokes after I stopped laughing so I’m not surprised my recall was faulty.
That’s okay! You more than made up for it with this post. Thanks again!